dear gemma

Dear Gemma,

I've been thinking about this post for some weeks now, but it feels only appropriate to post on the eve of your first birthday. The beginning of October hit me with a huge reality check... My sweet baby girl is losing a little of her baby-ness every day. Every day, there is something new and exciting and something hysterical that you do, and I get a kick out of all that you do every single day!

Tonight, as I rocked you to sleep, I felt heavy tears roll down my cheeks while I kissed the top of your head. You, my sweet girl, have been everything I have dreamt my whole life and more. My entire world shifted the day you were born. There were no words that could have prepared my heart for what was about to happen. I cried as I held you and snuggled you. And I know you have much more growing up to do. These tears I cried over you are not all tears of sadness. Of course, I am sad that you are getting less and less likely to cuddle with me {it's actually pretty rare now}. And I am sad that you are becoming older and more independent daily, meaning you need me less than you did as a newborn. But in a strange way, I am happy too. I did not for one second want to wish away your first year of your life. So I tried to take in every single minute. Sure, there were times where I was frustrated or days where you didn't seem to take to anything I tried, but I really have enjoyed your first year. These tears I cried as I rocked you to sleep were also tears of happiness. Happiness that you are doing exactly what are you supposed to- through learning, growing, developing, and more. And happiness that you are becoming more "you" every day. I love my little girl more than life itself. Daddy and I cannot remember life without you and we couldn't be happier that God blessed us with such an angel.

I want you to know that I am incredibly happy to be your mama. And as much as I can't believe the first year of your life has flown by, I can't wait to see how the next one unfolds. You, my sweet girl, are God's greatest gift, and I still can't believe I was chosen to be your mama. I love you, my Gemma girl and I have cherished you every day, and will continue to until your 115!

Love,
Mama