currently

I stumbled across this "currently" post on Sometimes Sweet.. so I'm copycat-ing over here :)

Reading: Everyday A Friday by Joel Osteen. Only 30 pages in so far, but I'm loving the perspective!

Eating: Lately, I have been craving Chicken Pot Pie. Such a great fall meal. I made one last Friday night at about 10pm... Bry and I ate 2/3 of it, and then I ate the rest the next morning. So yummy! I alternated between two recipes so that probably had something to do with it being so tasty. Someone should warn Bry that I might make another one tomorrow!

Thinking about: Gemma's first birthday... I cannot fathom how it has almost been an entire year since I gave birth to my baby. Time flies. I feel like I blinked and she's almost walking. How can this be? On another note.. her birthday party details need a bit of attending to. I need to get on with the plans and decorations and food because October is literally slipping through our fingers.

Listening to: I've been stepping away from music a bit, so I'm mostly listening to Gemma babble and focusing more on whatever I'm doing! She's getting so funny these days with her reactions to things!

Enjoying: Gemma's age and interactions at this point in her life. She is getting so personable. She clearly has likes and dislikes and will make both known to us. She is such a little gem and everyday I am reminded of how blessed I am to be her mama!

Watching: I love when all the TV seasons start again! Despite canceling our cable, I still can catch up on all my TV shows that I love via Hulu+.. Grey's Anatomy, Parenthood, New Girl, and Modern Family... and Bry and I have been talking for forever about completing our Friends DVD set and watching the series start to finish... so we bought the rest of the seasons on Amazon and do that on a night when we aren't watching a new episode of something! Total couch potatoes over here! {with active family outings on the weekends, of course}

Loving: Fall! My favorite season! Sweater weather! Pumpkins! Cozy drinks from Starbucks {can you tell I'm not a coffee drinker?}! Leaves! Leggings! Boots! Seriously, it's quite the hype in our house!

I'm sure this won't be the end of my obsessive love of fall discussions. Happy fall to all! :)

photos that didn't make instagram

Time for another round of photos that didn't get posted on Instagram! I've totally become one of those moms that probably posts way too many pictures of my kid. But I truly can't help myself. Gemma's very photogenic and is just a pip most of the time! So here's another batch that didn't make Instagram.. from way back in the winter! Get ready for Gemma-overload :)

^squinting?

^singing Mommy and Daddy to sleep one night

^so so little

^she learned to pose young I suppose

^her favorite place to me.. with Mama

^snuggling with her doggy!

^I mean.. what a little pumpkin!

^Auntie Kelsey brought over some candy and I had fun playing with it with Gemma! 

^just waking up?

^guys, guys, I'm not awake yet.. just chill!

^still waking up over here...

^okay, so one time, I took a really cute picture of Gems and put it on Instagram, but what I did not post was this picture of her- right after I dropped the phone on her head... Gemma's reaction gave me enough guilt to still feel bad about it months later #badmommove

^half of my photos from my phone are blurry because one of us is always moving... memories nonetheless :)

^snuggles with Fleurbunny

^valentine's cutie!

Another "photos that didn't make instagram" will surely happen again! 

shifting

October! When did October get here??? Life has been crazy lately! I know I've been saying over and over {and probably sound like a broken record} that I want to be regularly blogging. But "blogging regularly" seems to be 1-2 times a month. When I said that, I meant like at least 1-2 times a week if not more.

A little update on my life lately to fill you in.. and then a few thoughts...

+ Gemma's crawling now. Like really crawling. And she can get from point A to point B in about 10 seconds {it all depends on what she's after}. This makes for getting things done easily and frequently interrupted.

+ I started a babysitting job every day after school for three boys. They are crazy and energetic and lots of fun, and I don't usually take Gemma but the days after 2pm typically go like this...I drop her off with either my mom or mother in law, pick up the kids from school, sometimes bring one of the boys to soccer, start homework, play leggos, monitor bike riding, and wash the dishes, then go back and pick up Gemma, get her home, pick up Bry from the train, give Gemma a bath, and put her to bed. Phewww, by this time, I'm usually ready to fall into bed. But I try to take time to eat dinner, shower, and spend some time with Bry.

+ Added on top of my day of hanging with my favorite little sidekick and babysitting and juggling daily tasks is my Arbonne business. I joined in June and I am loving what I do. What isn't fun about sharing products you already love with people? I can't wait to see where this business takes me! All I know is I'm off and going places already!

All that said... I've been thinking about my life and how I want to live it. I will be 100% honest and open and say sometimes I have a tendency to dwell on the negative. And complaining can get the best of me. And I would go as far to say that this is a habit, a bad habit.. That I want broken immediately. I'm not saying that I won't ever have a bad day or a bad mood {though I wish}, however, I believe that attitude is everything. So I am doing my best to shift my focus on the positive. All I can do is control what I do, not what happens with anyone or anything else. So here's to focusing on the good today and here on out. {And hopefully writing this and letting other people know will hold me a bit more accountable to keep this shift towards positivity!}

Shifting focus, routines, attitudes... just with the turn of season! It's exhausting, but in a good way! Hope you all are having a lovely first day of October!

loss & life

I come to the blog today to sort out some thoughts and emotions tonight. Maybe this post will make perfect sense, or maybe it will only make sense in my mind, but I will do my best to explain.

Last night, at 11:05pm, my grandmother, my Naunney, passed away. She had been fighting to survive for quite some time now. Naunney, wacky as she may have been, was truly one of a kind. She always took the time to invest in me and asked me how I was. She was very special to me and I can not believe I won't ever hear her say, "Hello, Beautiful!" as I walk up to her front door, or hear her reminisce about how she used to tell me "Naunney made filet" {as in, filet mignon... every dinner was "filet" so that I would eat it}... I can't wrap my mind around the fact that she is no longer with us.

I went to the hospital last night to be with my dad and family after I received the phone call. And as hard as it was to be there, she just looked like she was sleeping. It was so painful to see my dad and his siblings all broken apart, and to see Bob, Naunney's husband, just beside himself. I hate grief, because there is NOTHING you can do to help anyone... it just has to pass. All I can do is pray. So that is what I've been trying to do.

I didn't sleep too well last night and then had a low-key morning with Gemma, just relishing in her and who she is becoming everyday. We spent the morning in bed just playing and hanging out. I also received word that our good friends, Sean & Brittney, were having their baby today. Sean cleverly made a Twitter account and kept friends and family updated throughout the day {seriously, so smart!} and I kept checking in, getting more and more excited to hear when Owen was finally here.

As the day went on, I just started thinking about the circle of life. In less than 24 hours, I lost someone in my life but gained someone new {Welcome to the world Owen!!}.

Life is funny in that it's so precious. It's fleeting. In a moment, everything can change and your world can shift. And while life is so precious, we are meant for something bigger. Something bigger than this Earth and this world. I take comfort in the fact that Naunney isn't suffering anymore. Her heart can now rest and she can rest in paradise with her parents. As I stood there taking everything in last night, while her children stood by her saying their goodbyes, I couldn't help but look at Naunney's impact on this world. She left behind a husband, 5 children, 11 grandchildren {I believe, that number seems small to me}, many great-grandchildren, a massive group of friends from the VFW, and her group of friends from her work... it makes me contemplate what I will leave behind when I go. What do I want to leave behind? None of the possessions matter, but the legacy that will be left lasts much longer than we do.

That said, hug your loved ones. Kiss those that mean the world to you. You never know when will be the last time you have that final conversation with them. That is all I can think to write tonight. Before I go though...

Naunney, you were the sweetest of ladies. Everyone who knew you loved you for who you are. I will forever miss you and I know many others are saddened by you leaving this life. But I rest in the fact that you are no longer in pain. You were {and still are and will be} so very special to me and I will always keep you in my heart. I love you and will see you again someday soon! 

Where I'm From

I have this itch. Maybe it's not an itch.. maybe it's more of a craving or a drive... I want to get back blogging. Routinely. Like in my last post where I wrote about craving routine. And here I am today... wanting to get to regular blogging.

Today I stumbled upon a blog party happening. Jenni over at Story of My Life came up with Blogtember and I'm deciding to join. It'll give me prompts to write about and just a reason to log on everyday and get creative with things. Head on over here if you want to join the Blogtember party!

The first prompt is to write about where or what you are from, the people, places, and or factors that have shaped your life... I was born and raised in Connecticut. My parents were divorced when I was a year and a half old. I don't really remember them together at all. It was just the way it's been. I lived with my mom and we moved around a little bit until she met my stepdad when I was 5. They were married when I was 8 and I'm pretty sure, even though at the time I was not happy about my mom remarrying, it was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I was an only child until I was 12 years old, when my baby brother was born. I used to hate that my family was "split" and I used to think I was the only one who experienced divorce, but to be honest, it's made me learn a lot of lessons and taught me to be stronger than I sometimes realize. It's also taught me my beliefs on life, love, marriage and family. Growing up where I did helped me establish my morals and taught me to stand my ground when it comes to my convictions. I'm so grateful for my upbringing because it's made me me. 

september love

*photo from two years ago

The beginning of September brings around many feelings for me. I know the calendar says its still summer, but in my book, September 1st marks the beginning of fall officially. I have been eagerly awaiting for the fall to get here. Firstly, because I am so over the heat. I am craving comfy cozy sweaters, leggings, and my Ugg boots {as terrible as everyone thinks they are, they're comfy as hell and staying around for a while}. Secondly, I am itching for routine. Boring as it may sound, I thrive off of a stable routine and I know Gemma will do better on a routine as well. This summer was filled with all sorts of crazy- weekends away and nights up way too late- are leaving me wanting some sense of normal. Thirdly, I am ready for a new season in our lives. It's time. Summer has come and is going as we speak. It was fun while it lasted.

So this is me, welcoming in a new season for our lives. September, we are so glad you are here! 

monday miseries

I have been feeling so out of my element lately, especially in the last week... I feel like I am in one of those "When it rains, it pours" periods. So here I am on this little blog of mine to write and get it all out...

+ Gemma has been teething again for quite some time. Blah blah blah, I feel like this is all I ever talk about. But to be fair, teething really changes our happy little girl into this little bear of a person we are not familiar with. Last night, it took me 2 hours to get her to sleep. Today, I spent about 2 hours between naps and bedtime trying to get her to settle down and go to sleep. She wrestled me and pushed away and cried for a while, even though she was rubbing her eyes and she was definitely overdue for a nap. Poor thing is just so uncomfortable...

+ Also, Gemma is extremely frustrated as she's on the brink of crawling and is wanting to be on the move, but she just hasn't gotten there yet. She is working so hard and progressing very quickly, and I know it's only a matter of time, but hearing all the growls and whines that come out of Gemma start to wear on all of us! {The teething probably doesn't help her mood either}

+ Last night, we found a bunch of moth larvae {read: tiny little worms}. I didn't eat dinner and felt sick for the rest of the night, as I am sure Bry did as well {he cleaned the pantry while I rocked Gemma for two hours..} We got rid of all of the food, cleaned the pantry, and I'm going to buy more moth traps {as we've had traps up for a while and we're not sure why this happened}.

+ My dad's mother, Naunney, had a heart attack yesterday. This was not the first time this has happened. She had to have a stent put in and is in the hospital recovering. This whole situation really just sheds light on how precious life is and how one moment can change your life. Praying for my Naunney, my dad and the rest of the family for strength.

+ I've also been personally been going through a phase where I'm trying to do it all {keep on top of everything at home, keep up with friends, keep my baby on somewhat of a schedule, and balance working from home and working out of home}. I've been feeling stretched a little thin lately and it's discouraging when I feel like I can't do it all. But sometimes I have to tell myself that I am doing the best that I can and that not everything needs to be perfect.

+ And I'm currently slowly consuming a whole tin of Altoids. I should be eating the Ghiradelli brownies we made last night {the only thing that was spared from the larvae- blughhhh} with some vanilla ice cream on top.

Did you make it through that?? Probably worst post ever, but sometimes life happens and it's not always perfect. I found this on Pinterest and I love it...

{via}

I need to remember this more often! Happy Monday's-almost-over!